So it’s that time of year! What goals do I have? What do I want to achieve? And by what time? Well, there are quite a few things I’d like to sort out…
First, I want to have more time with Mike.
We went to the cinema the other day and to our favourite restaurant, Zizzi’s, and had such a laugh, and we just feel so connected when we get the chance to be alone. So I definitely want us to make more time for that.
I want to stop putting myself down.
Even though I appear a very confident person, ( I am, to some extent) I have a whole heap of anxiety about so many things. Negative self talk is something I’ve been battling heavily with recently, and it’s high time it stopped, because it’s causing blockages in my life that I just don’t need. It can sometimes be hard to feel amazing when you have an invisible illness that constantly shows up uninvited, and it’s on the really bad days when I just get this feeling of, “I’m never getting better”, or, “I’ll never be able to dance properly again”, instead of focusing on the great stuff I AM doing… Like growing my YouTube channel for instance. That is going so well! The crafts I’m doing, I never expected to make half of the things I have but I’m loving it! I just need to give “Neggy Nelly” a shove when she starts gabbing in my ear.
I know it’s cliché, but it’s true. I’m very unfit. It’s not that I’m really fat, or eat unhealthily, I just can’t stand for longer than 10 minutes without desperately needing to sit down. Yes this is all due to my disability but I know people who have the same condition who are doing incredible things, and I want to be like them. I used to have such a positive attitude… towards the end of last year things started to change. I want to sort that out. We have an exercise bike now, so I want to try and get on it every week. I will have to start small, but I at least want to start.
I’d love to meet more like-minded people like me, in my area.
I don’t have many friends. I know LOTS of people, but very few that I would call FRIENDS. And it would be nice if they didn’t all live far away. Since coming away from social media that feeling of closeness with friends from afar is no longer there, so it’s hard. Facebook sure lulls you into a false social life. I want to go out there and create a REAL one. I’m a LOT. I know that. I’m extra to the nth degree, I’m loud, and get on well with (mostly) everyone. I look forward to finding some more people like that!
I definitely want to keep up this blog, I’m really enjoying writing it. It’s a great way to empty my thoughts.
Feel free to comment below what your goals are for 2019! As far as time constraints, I’m gonna be kind to myself and just take things a day at a time, but I think I have a nice list to work on.
Love Ayesha x