One thing I learned from coming off social media was that you can lull yourself into a false sense of security thinking that your “friends” are close by when actually they are miles and miles away and you can only see snippets of their life now because…let’s face it, you no longer go to the same school, work together, live near each other, have the same interests, BASICALLY EVERYONE HAS MOVED ON AND HAS A LIFE… and you only get to see the “good bits”.
Growing up I was never one to fit in. I can’t. I’m waaayyy too extra for that. Now that I’m 30 I feel that really hasn’t changed… in fact if anything I’m MORE extra now than when I ever was. Problem is when you live in an area where it’s mainly older couples and their dogs, it’s not easy to find your “tribe”. On Facebook, everything is virtual. Once you leave, you leave all that life behind. Only a select few will choose to stay in touch with you, and even then, they live no where near. It’s few and far between. It’s sad.
What I find difficult is being someone who is really into kawaii fashion, but not able to share it with many people because no one here is like me. I don’t hear of any meet ups or anything because of my decision to leave SM. Luckily, a lot of my YouTube following ARE into that kind of thing, but again, this is all virtual. I don’t know my followers personally, as a lot of them live abroad. I’m grateful to have them don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I would just like to have a group of ACTUAL friends to share all of the cool things I’m interested in, rather than just a colleague, or someone I only really have one thing in common with. You know?
I came across the most kawaii bag ever in WHSmiths the other day, and I wanted it so bad. I may treat myself to it for my birthday which is very soon. A little donut, in pastel colours, smiling at me. I snapped a picture, but had no one to send it to. So here it is.
Just looking at it now makes me smile. Sod it. I think I’ll get it.
I know there is a time for everything, and that one day I’ll find people who are like minded and live close by, so I donut have to feel alone anymore.
Love Ayesha x